The funny things that stick...

Teddy and I were driving this morning. I asked him to "roll down the window". He started laughing & pointed out that the windows are automatic. He said, "Have you ever stopped to think about the phrases that have stuck with us despite the change in technology?" So, I started thinking. What phrases do I regularly use that are really no longer applicable?
"Can you rewind that song?"
"They have a new album out"
That's all I can think of at the moment. I thought it would be fun to see what you all come up with as well :)
TGIF!!!

iPhones & Bubble Wrap

I thought iPhones were the biggest waste of money and time I had ever seen. That is, until I came across this: bubble wrap.

I think this application alone makes the phone worth it. Think about it: you're grocery shopping. The kids are climbing the wall - hand them the iPhone and have them start "popping" bubble wrap! Better yet - you're waiting to see the doctor. You're starting to feel stressed out. Pop bubble wrap! Who doesn't feel less stressed after popping bubble wrap?? Granted, you might just annoy everyone around you, but hey! You'll feel better :)

Alfie Kohn

I stumbled across some videos of Alfie Kohn on parenting. I read Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting back in November. I LOVED it. I immediately thought "Why couldn't I have read this book BEFORE becoming a parent?" Oh well, at least I found it. It was one of the books that verbalized all these feelings and thoughts I had floating around my head yet couldn't quite wrap them into words. It just really spoke to me. Maybe it will speak to you.

Alfie Kohn
Embedding was disabled so check out the website: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUKLOI2acZo

Your Mind is Your Predicament

Okay, so here's the next passage that I want to share from the same book....

"The truth probably lies somewhere in between, don't you think?"

Without taking his eyes off the vegetables, Socrates said, "Your "in between' is hell, from my perspective."

Defensively I asked, "Is it just me whose the moron, or do you specialize in working with the spiritually handicapped?"

" You might say that," he smiled, pouring sesame oil into the wok and setting it on the hot plate to warm. "But nearly all of humanity shares your predicament."

"And what is that?"

" I thought I had already explained that," he said patiently. "If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change, free of pain, free of the obligation of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality."

"Socrates, you can really be depressing, you know that? I don't even think I'm hungry anymore. If life is nothing but suffering, then why bother at all?"
"Life is not suffering; it's just that you will suffer it, rather than enjoy it, until you let go of your mind's attchments and just go for the ride freely, no matter what happens."

Socrates dropped the vegetables and tofu into the sizzling wok, stirring. A delicious aroma filled the office as he divided the crisp vegetables onto two places and set them on his old desk, which served as our dining table.

"I think I just got my appetite back," I said.

Socrates laughed, then ate in silence, taking small morsels with his chopsticks. I gobbled the food in about 30 seconds; I guess I was really hungry. While Socrates finished his meal, I asked him, " So what are the positive uses of the mind?"

He looked up from his plate. "There aren't any." With that , he calmly returned to his meal.

"Aren't any! Socrates, that's really crazy. What about the creations of the mind? The books, libraries, arts? What about all the advances of our society that were generated by brilliant minds?"

He grinned, put down his chopsticks, and said, "There aren't any brilliant minds." then he carried the plates to the sink.

"Socrates, stop making these irresponsible statements and explain yourself!"

He emerged from the bathroom, bearing aloft two shining plates. "I'd better redefine some terms for you. 'Mind' is one of those slippery terms like 'love.' The proper definition depends on your state of consciousness. Look at it this way: You have a brain that directs the body, stores information, and plays with that information. We refer to the brain's abstract processes as 'the intellect.' Nowhere have I mentioned mind. The brain and the mind are not the same. The brain is real; the mind isn't.

"'Mind' is an illusory reflection of cerebral fidgeting. It comprises all the random, uncontrolled thoughts that bubble into awareness from the subconscious. Consciousness is not mind; awareness is not mind; attention is not mind. Mind is an obstruction, an aggravation. It is a kind of evolutionary mistake in the human being, a primal weakness in the human experiement. I have no use for the mind."

I sat in silence, breathing slowly. I didn't exactly know what to say. Soon enough, though, the words came. I'm not sure what you're tlaking about, but you sound really sincere."

He just smiled and shrugged.

"Soc," I continued, "do I cut off my head to get rid of my mind?"

Smiling, he said, "That's one cure, but it has undesirable side effects. The brain can be a tool. It can recall phone numbers, solve math problems, or create poetry. In this way, it works for the rest of the body, like a tractor. But when you can't stop thinking of that math problem or phone number, or when troubling thoughts and memories arise without your intent, it's not your brain working, but your mind wandering. Then the mind controls you; then the tractor has run wild."

"I get it."

"To really get it, you must observe yourself to see what I mean. You have an angry thought bubble up and you become angry. It is the same with all of your emotions. They're your kneejerk responses to thoughts you can't control. Your thoughts are like wild monkeys stung by a scorpion."

"Socrates, I think..."

"You think too much!"

"I was just going to tell you that I'm really willing to change. That's one thing about me; I've always been open to change."

"That," said Socrates, "is one of your biggest illusions. You've been willing to change clothes, hairstyles, women, apartments, and jobs. You are all too willing to change anything except yourself, but change you will. Either I help you open your eyes or time will, but time is not always gentle," he said ominously. "Take your choice. But first realize that you're in prison - then we can plot your escape."

Be Prepared...

I am about to bombard everyone. I am currently reading Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I have two passages that I want to share. Here's the first one:

"My mind rebelled at his helpless-old-man ploy, but my heart was drawn to this robust old eccentric who claimed to be some kind of warrior. I sat back down. Then a story my grandfather had told me came to mind:

There was once a beloved king whose castle was on a high hill, overlooking his shire. He was so popular that the nearby townspeople sent him gifts daily, and his birthday celebration was enjoyed throughout the kingdom. The people loved him for his renowned wisdom and fair judgments.

One day, tragedy struck the town. The water supply was polluted, and every man, woman, and child went insane. Only the king, who had a private spring, was spared.

Soon after the tragedy, the mad townspeople began speaking of how the king was acting "strangely" and how his judgments were poor and his wisdom a sham. Many even went so far s to say that the king had gone crazy. His popularity soon vanished. No longer did the people bring him gifts or celebrate his birthday.

The lonely king, high on the hill, had no company at all. One day he decided to leave the hill and pay a visit to the town. It was a warm day, and so he drank from the village fountain.

That night there was a great celebration. The people rejoiced, for their beloved king had "regained his sanity".

I realized then that the crazy world that Socrates had referred to was not his world at all, but mine. "

I just felt that this was great food for thought. I often think that I am crazy for viewing the world the way I do. Maybe I'm not the crazy one afterall :)

Beauty Standards

I read Melina's post with great interest. I immediately thought of a conversation I had last weekend with my uncle and my sister . My sister began teasing me about the cluster of grey hair I have coming through on the crown on my head. She asked, "When are you going to dye your hair?" My sister and my mother like to periodically ask me this question. They think that if they ask me enough I might change my answer. I gave her my standard reply: "I don't have any plans to dye my hair". This produced an immediate and strong reaction from my uncle. I listened to him emphatically explain about how I HAVE to dye my hair. Grey hair on a woman is SO unattractive. It will make me look much older than I am. Finally, it would be unfair to my husband because it will appear as if he is married to a much older woman. I smiled and, for the most part, kept my mouth shut (I have learned in my 30 years when it's worth it to defend my ideals and when it's just a waste of energy). I responded "I've learned to not say never but I highly doubt I will change my mind. I have no plans to dye my hair" and changed the subject. Yet this conversation bothered me and, obviously, stuck with me. Reading Melina's blog brought it back to the surface.

The one thought that has always ran through my head is this: why is it SO bad to look your age? Who are we primping for? Why do we waste so much time and energy doing our hair and makeup? Why do we put ourselves through pain and trauma (e.g. plastic surgery) just to meet this impossible beauty standard that our culture gives us?

As I followed this train of thought, I was reminded of a passage written by Derrick Jensen in The Culture of Make Believe . I want to share it with you here (p.125):

He said, "I still think we can make a case for intent. Say, for example, a group of people live in a community that values relationships more highly than material objects."

He was, of course, describing the vast majority of communities through human existence.

He continued. "Now, introduce television. TV is based on creating dissatisfaction. It cannot exist without dissatisfaction. Happy people make bad consumers."

I remembered a conversation I'd had earlier this year with Kalle Lasn, an anti-corporate, anti-consumeristic culture-jamming activist who runs Adbusters Magazine out of Vancouver, British Columbia. He'd told me, "The first agenda of the commercial media is to sell fear, because it breeds insecurity, and then consumer culture offers us any number of ways to buy our way back to feeling secure, however temporarily. We're fed these images of what we're supposed to look like: pouting lips, pert breasts, buns of steel, everlasting youth."

"White," I added.

He continued, "It's not possible to internalize again and again these images of what's beautiful and what's desirable without having that affect your self-perception. And it alters the very foundation of your personality. It distorts your sexuality. What does it mean that so many of us are willing to give up so much of our power, voluntarily and systematically, to strangers? What does it mean that the most private parts of ourselves - how we are in a relationship to ourselves and to those we love - have been designed in great measure by those who have no interest in us other than that we feel insecure enough to buy their products?"

I told John this, then told him that I think the problem with television is even more fundamental than just causing insecurity. The problem is existential. We all know what happens when you introduce television into indigenous communities. In her book, Ancient Futures: Learning from Ladakh, Helena Norberg-Hodge commented that the "incredible vitality and joy that I experienced in the villages was almost certainly connected to the fact that the excitement in life was here and now, with you and in you. People did not feel that they were on the periphery; the center was where they were." The arrival of television changed all this, she said, because "idealized stars make people feel inferior and passive, and the here and now pales in comparison with the colorful excitement of faraway places."

Okay, so this went a little off the path and into the woods, so to speak. It still drives home the fact that we have to see through the noise. We need to realize that it is just marketing bullshit hammered into our heads, beginning at a very young age, until we believe in some facet of it enough that we purchase these products and make the attempt to live up to these "expectations" of us. I, for one, refuse. I will not dye my hair. I will embrace what the great spirit has blessed me with and be proud of who I am, without any product.

Rise

I woke up this morning from a dream singing this song. I have a habit of being able to sing the music to the song, but not know the lyrics. I looked up the lyrics as soon as I sat down at the computer. I thought I'd share them with you, as well as the video.

Rise

Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow

Gonna rise up
Burning back holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold

Such is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
And suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and behold

Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the hole