New Wave

I am experiencing a new wave of creativity these days. I am welcoming it with open arms. It has been TOO long since I felt creative enough to actually work on a project. 

Here's a picture of what I did last night: 

It isn't the best quality photo. I don't know if you can see what it is exactly so I will explain it. I started out wanting to "write" a poem for Uncle James just using words and/or phrases cut out from various magazines. I ended up with the following poem by the time I was done clipping:

Namaste friend 

      Every breathe you take 

Come as you are 

Our hybrid life 

Desert's best... CASHED OUT... Chesapeake Bay

Integral grassroots fertile ground

Not all who wander are lost

Where to? 

      Adventure to greenstreets

              Phoenix Rising

         Leave no child inside 

            create.play.care.

              Works of art

      dream                  coexist

Welcome the heart of Nature 

Dare to dream with pure intentions

Seek the truth 

Survive THIS! 

It's not about escaping reality

It's about finding it....

READ

       express yourself...

A kind spoken-word 

       is not hard to believe....

The best gift I have to offer 

            OM

Last words 

           Love you.....

Each "paragraph" will be one picture for five in total. Last night I completed the first page. I went through old magazines and cut out pictures that I felt matched the emotion of the words. I am not sure how I am going to put together the final product... each an individual framed picture? a bound "book"? I'll be sure to post pictures of the final product...

One Year Ago Today

I quit my job as QA manager of a start up eye & tissue bank. I didn't give two weeks notice. I just left. Yeah, sounds REALLY "responsible" huh? I am not going to go into the nitty gritty details but there had been a domino effect of events leading up to a meeting on 5/14. At this meeting, we were informed by the CEO that the company needed to hire on another person to do family approaches yet the company didn't have the money (keep in mind that he had *just* hired another surgical lead, a position that was already fulfilled by the Tissue Recovery Manager. Did I mention this person was his friend??). He pretty much told the TRM & I that we would have to do even more and not be paid for it since the new surgical lead didn't want to be bothered with calling families. Furthermore, he informed us that we would be meeting again on 5/19 to present him with ideas on how to raise money for our company. His premise? Since we were a 503b non profit organization, we could convince people to make tax deductible donations to us. For serious. This is where the proverbial straw began to crack my back. Things continued to brew during the following four days between meetings. Although I had the gut feeling since my first interview that this organization would crash and burn (not to mention take down my career in eye & tissue banking), the realization FINALLY smacked me in the face following a few more events those four days. I couldn't take it. My husband convinced me to walk. I was scared. I wasn't sure that it was the best idea. Shaking, I walked into the meeting with my keys & a disc with all of my work on it. I told them all that I had come up with a way for them to save some money - I was out of there. The only questions that was asked: "You aren't going to give two weeks?" HELL no. I had already given WAY too much. I was done.

Thus began my journey as a stay at home Mom. I walked away from a career that I thoroughly enjoyed (even if it was stressful & consuming) to be home with my children. It has now been a full year. I look back & don't regret a thing. I only regret not coming to the decision sooner. I will say, though, that it has taken a full year for me to get comfortable in my new role. I have been racked with doubt regarding my capabilities to not only be available for my children, but to educate my children. The doubts have only recently been assuaged. When you first make the switch to homeschooling, you are told that a good "rule of thumb" is to deschool for every month in school. For example: my son had been in school for four years. He thus needed four months of "do nothing but what you want" time in order to decompress and be comfortable with the new routine. I have come to realize that I, too, have been deschooling. It has taken me the last twelve months to FINALLY shrug off all of the negative emotions I have carried in conjunction with learning and responsibilities. I had to shed all of my societal indoctrination to be able to be comfortable in this new role. I would say that deschooling did indeed last for four months for Evan. I would say that I am about 90% complete with my own deschooling. Kaya luckily did not have to deschool since she never really went to school in the first place :) Want to learn more about deschooling? Check out: www.sandradodd.com/deschooling

I want to write more about this new life I've entered but, lo and behold, we have a BUSY day getting ready to start. It is our last day of co-op www.hsobx.org for the semester. Time to get ready for a fun filled day!!

Perhaps some insight...

... into my crazy mind :) If you actually watch what I post on FB, then these will all be repeats for you...... Otherwise, enjoy!