Thursday, December 17, 2009

Meet Us Up The River

Now that I am not on the computer as much as I have been & the kids and I are on break from co-op, I have had some time to get caught up on some household organizing. I was getting ready to toss my flyer for the Fair Trade Festival into the recycling bin when I noticed the following essay. I had to sign on & share it with you all. 

Once upon a time there was a small village on the edge of a river. The people there were good and the life in the village was good. One day a villager noticed a baby floating down the river. The villager quickly jumped into the river and swam out to save the baby from drowning. 
The next day this same villager was walking along the river bank and notived two babies in the river. He called for help, and both babies were rescued from the swift waters. And the following day four babies were seen caught in the turbulent current. And then eight, then more, and still more. 
The villagers organized themselves quickly, setting up watch towers and training teams of swimmers who could resist the swift waters and rescue babies. Rescue squads were soon working 24 hours a day. And each day the number of babies floating down the river increased. 
The villagers organized themselves efficiently. The rescue squads were now snatching many children each day. Groups were trained to give mouth to mouth resuscitation. Others prepared formula and provided clothing for the chilled babies. Many people were involved in making clothing and knitting blankets. Still others provided foster homes and placement. 
While not all the babies...could be saved, the villagers felt they were doing well to save as many as they could each day. Indeed, their priest blessed them in their good work. And life in the village continued on that basis. 
One day, however, someone raised the question, "But where are all these babies coming from? Who is throwing them into the river? Why? Let's organize a team to go upstream and see who's doing it." 

The seeming logic of the elders countered: "And if we go upstream who will operate the rescue operations? We need every concerned person here."
"But don't you see," cried the one lone voice, "if we find out who is throwing them in, we can stop the problem and no babies will drown. By going upstream we can eliminate the cause of the problem." 
"It is too risky," [decided the elders].
And so the numbers of babies in the river increase daily. Those saved increase, but those who drown increase even more. 

MEET US UP THE RIVER!!!


Saturday, December 5, 2009

Today is the Day

The Fair Trade Festival has finally arrived! Don't know much about Fair Trade or the festival? Read about it here. I am really looking forward to seeing the belly dancers & Scythian this evening, not to mention the chocolate tasting - yum! Hope to see you there =)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

What can you do with three minutes?

Last night, I went to the Surry County Public Hearings on whether to grant local zoning approval for the ODEC - proposed coal plant in Dendron, VA. The meeting began at 7:00pm and did not end until 11:45. I was really impressed with the fact that the council willingly stayed and listened to everyone. Here's what I had to say (which I managed to keep to three minutes or less, the allotted time given): 
Within the last two weeks there have been at least four different articles in the Virginia Pilot regarding mercury in our water and/or fish. One article in particular spoke of a report by Environment America which ranked our state #2 in the nation for the dirtiest waters. Yet another article announced that Lake Gaston walleye fish have been designated inedible due to high levels of mercury. Where does this mercury come from? Coal. 
This proposed coal plant will be built right in the middle of the very same water sheds that supply the Hampton Roads region with water. Why on EARTH would we willingly agree to poison ourselves? 

As the debate rages nationally in regards to healthcare, I have often wondered who will need healthcare if we don't have a land base? Our water is already horribly polluted as is our air & soil. This plant will only make these issues exponentially worse. As a mother of two young children, I want to know that we are working to fix these situations, not continue to dump fuel onto this ever-growing fire of pollution & destruction. We should be investing in renewable energy sources, not these antiquated destructive means of energy. I want to know that we are leaving our children a sustainable land base, not a polluted waste land. 

In closing, I'd like to leave you with the following Cree indian proverb: 
"Only when the last tree is cut
Only when the last river is polluted
Only when the last fish is caught
Only then will men realize that they cannot eat money"
They conducted the two public hearings and then decided to continue the rest of the proceedings until Dec. 14th. I would say that well over 50 people spoke and only about 10 people were for the proposal, if that. You can see those 10 people highlighted on ODEC's website. I must admit I had a really hard time refraining from pitching objects at the ODEC lawyer as he spoke, especially when I heard him refer to the environmental impact as being "passive and benign". It was overall an empowering experience and I am hopeful that the council will, at the very least, insist on an independent study being done before agreeing to the rezoning. 
      

Monday, November 23, 2009

Tonight: Say No To Coal

For those of my readers who are friends with me on Facebook, this will be a repeat. Sorry. You can smack me the next time you see me for making you hear/read the same thing over and over again...
In the meantime, for the rest of you out there in the blogosphere:

Coal is not and cannot be clean. Every week yet another article shows up in the paper reinforcing this reality ( See here , here and here). So can anyone tell me why Old Dominion Electric Cooperative is looking to build Virginia’s largest coal burning power plant to date in Dendron, VA?

Yes, you read that right. A measly fifty miles away from us they are planning to commission the state’s largest coal fired plant dab smack in the middle of the waters that feed our water supplies. You feel helpless you say? So did I, until I received the following message:
    YOUR VOICE IS DESPERATELY NEEDED!

Old Dominion Electric Cooperative wants to build the largest coal plant in Virginia in the Hampton Roads region. On Monday, Nov. 23rd, the Surry County Planning Commission is holding a public hearing on whether to grant local zoning approval for this controversial plant. This is a crucial time to speak out against this monstrosity of a coal plant!

Community members fighting the plant have asked for YOUR support by showing up to this public hearing and voicing your concerns!

http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/5020/t/3211/signUp.jsp?key=1490

The meeting starts at 7:00. We are going to get there early and stand in line so that we can get seats....ODEC has a nasty habit of showing up and trying to take up the front rows of important meetings.....so we gotta race 'em!

Because this is a zoning issue, neighboring communities are invited to voice their concerns. We are all going to be impacted, we are all neighbors.

The proposed plant, located only a few miles from one of the
Commonwealth's greatest treasures, the
Chesapeake Bay, would poison
surrounding waterways with 116 pounds of mercury per year. The plant
would create nearly 60 tons of poisonous coal ash a day, to be stored
in
Surry County, and would increase the demand for coal extracted
using mountaintop removal mining. In addition, it would add nearly 15
million tons of global warming pollution to our air every year.

 

I am going to be there at this hearing tonight to ensure that my voice is heard. You should be there too. If enough of us show up, they might just have to listen to us. The address for the event is the Surry County Government Center 45 School St Surry, VA. We must take a stand right now at this critical juncture. If we don’t speak up for the health of our land base, then who will? I don’t know about you, but I want to be able to trust that my water will be clean and that I can eat what I grow without poisoning myself or my kids. "At the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends" ~MLK

Friday, August 28, 2009

Fair Trade Festival

I just received this in my mail the other day: 
QUICK RESPONSE NEEDED!

Dear Fair Trade Fans,

The time has come to commit to the Fair Trade Festival!
The festival this year will be at WATERSIDE!!!!
Same time frame, Sat December 5, 10am to 10 pm,  and Sunday Dec 6 12:00 pm-5pm.

The good news: BEAUTIFUL venue, lots of space, built-in sound system, dedicated poetry space, indoors, but with a giant window to the outdoors!  Great publicity help! Additional table space: I am planning on 50 tables rather than 40.  Dinner tentatively planned for Friday night... 

The bad news: Slight increase in table price to $50, and... we can't leave merchandise over night.  Your tables, racks, etc can stay up over night, but they said we absolutely could not leave merchandise set up on the tables over night. Sigh.  Apologies. I will try to have additional volunteer help available for pack-up Saturday night.

If you are a previous vendor or a performer, you want to be included in the festival, and you have the first weekend in December available, please drop me a quick email right away saying "YES", and I will assume you are coming.  I need to get the press release written in the next week, and will only be able to mention people who have said they are coming!  New vendors, we'll handle applications later- right now I just need to know you'd like to come.

Immediate needs:

A FUNDRAISER
A VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR
A FESTIVAL "INTERN" who'd like to learn how to do this!

Thanks, y'all!

-Susan Posey, 
Fair Trade Festival Coordinator
cel (757) 581-5672

Last night Susan and I talked extensively about what is still needed to get this off the ground. She *really* needs someone who is good at fundraisers. The festival needs companies that jive with the Fair Trade mission (like a donation from Wal-Mart won't work) and/or individuals who are willing to donate anywhere between $50 to $1000. Obviously the more money she is able to raise, the more she will be able to pay the performing artists as well as just make things happen. Speaking of performing artists - she is in need for musicians, poets, dancers, etc. Anyone who can perform during the festival is what she is looking for! 

Oh! Don't know why Fair Trade is important? Then check these links out to learn more: 
http://www.fairtradefederation.org/
http://www.globalexchange.org/campaigns/fairtrade/coffee/
Looking for local stores to purchase Fair Trade items? Check these places out: 
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Norfolk-VA/Elliots-Fair-Grounds/135203385931#/pages/Norfolk-VA/Elliots-Fair-Grounds/135203385931?v=wall&viewas=0
http://www.greenalternativesstore.com/
http://newportnews.tenthousandvillages.com/php/stores.festivals/store.homepage.php





Monday, August 10, 2009

Laundry Etiquette

1. If you only wore it once & didn't get it dirty, PUT IT AWAY! Unless, of course, the item of clothing is your underwear or socks. These are one time wear items. I don't mean "put it away in the laundry hamper". I mean "Put it away in your drawer". 

2. Do not put any items in the washer machine unless you are starting a load of laundry. This especially applies to wet items like damp beach towels. Nothing quite like the aroma of bacteria & fungus breeding for a week and a half in the summer heat! 

3. If you are doing a load of laundry, please pay attention to the washer's settings. A new brightly colored shirt should not be washed in hot water. A load of regular cottons should not be washed on delicate. There is a reason why they give you dials to change the settings.

4. If you start a load of laundry, take it through the whole process. Do not assume that someone else will step in & take over. So, if you started the load in the washer, ensure it gets into the dryer. It also super nice if you take it out of the dryer & fold it too. 

5. Rule #3 also applies to the dryer. Do not put the "Tumble Dry Low" items on high heat! 

6. Back to rule #4.... If you see a pile of clothes sitting on top of the dryer that you started through the process yet did not complete by taking it out & putting it away, then this is your clue to do so. DO NOT put it back in the dryer. 

Phew! I feel better now. 

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Never Ending Story

Today was the BIG day. I would finally be able to put all of the nonsense behind me, right? Wrong. Sergeant A.J. Bostjanik didn't bother to show up to court today. 

My four character witnesses, my mother, and I sat in a packed waiting room, shoulder to shoulder, that had no air conditioning or air ventilation whatsoever (It is 93 degrees with a heat index of 102 today) for forty five minutes without knowing what was going on. My lawyer appeared in the waiting room to break the news about the officer's no show. He explained that the officer's representative was seeking a continuance but that he would fight it. It was another thirty minutes before we were called into the courtroom. 

As promised, my lawyer pushed for dismissal. He did so in an incredibly tactful manner. He gently pushed the judge but stopped before he crossed the line. Unfortunately, the judge was in a bad mood today. My lawyer had warned me about Judge Massey's volatility. I witnessed it first hand. Apparently, he had yet to hear a case because, one case after the other, there were no shows. He did indicate that "the only good news he had heard all day" was the fact that we were all present & ready for our case to be heard. This was when my lawyer went full-fledge into his argument for dismissal. The judge's response? A mother once left her seven month old in the car for 45 secs to drop a letter in the slot of the post office only to turn around and find her infant gone. What one has to do with the other is still beyond me. Anyway, I digress. He turned down the motion for dismissal and set a new hearing for September 16th @ 9:00am. He dismissed us and doled out his "one word of advice" to me: Netflix. 

Can we say major suckage? There are SO many different side stories I could delve into here: the waste of tax payers money, the abuse of power, the "blame the victim" mentality this judge demonstrated today, etc. I just don't have the energy. My girlfriend has my kids for the day. I have some time to myself. I am going to get off this machine & go take some alone time to regroup. 

HUGE thanks to everyone out there that has been here for me through this. I love you all. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Statue vs. Statute

I feel like such a tard.... I was looking through my past posts & realized that, on multiple occasions, I wrote statue instead of statute. I DO know the difference, I swear :) I am going back to fix it now....

Monday, July 13, 2009

I'm no heroine...

I was cooking breakfast for us this morning & listening to my iPod. Ani Difranco came on... "I'm No Heroine". I was listening very carefully to the lyrics. It really spoke to me, especially given my current situation. I thought I'd share it with you guys....

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Okay, so what do I do now?

Yesterday was my arraignment. I qualified for a court appointed lawyer. My hearing date has been set for August 5th, 2009 @ 9am in the Juvenile & Domestic Court of the city of Norfolk. 

I spoke with my lawyer yesterday afternoon. I was feeling pretty good about having representation. I felt like a weight had been lifted - I would be vindicated now that I had a lawyer who could navigate the legalese for me. This is how I felt until I spoke to my lawyer. 

I had her for about ten minutes on the phone right before she was trying to get out of the office to begin her vacation. I asked her what the chances were that she would be able to have my case dismissed. She said "None." I brought up the point of the evidence not meeting the burden of the law ( See definition  and charge of child neglect under VA State Law). She responded that Officer Bostjank is "notorious" for charging women with neglect and that the judge assigned to my case has always sided with this officer, no matter how ridiculous the charge is. For example, he charged a mom for neglect because she pulled up to the curb of the post office, got out of her car to drop envelopes into the blue box outside of the post office and didn't bring her children with her. She was found guilty. 

Needless to say I am feeling rather deflated right now. I have some ideas on how to proceed & ensure that every shred of defending evidence is presented at my hearing; however, I am still not certain that it is going to help in light of what she has told me. 
Any ideas? 

Sunday, July 5, 2009

What does walking for peace & child neglect have in common?

A lot, I've come to find out. 
I have been wrestling with sharing this story. On the one hand, I really don't want to incur people's judgement anymore than I already have in my life. I feel as though, by virtue of choosing a lifestyle very different from mainstream society, I am already under scrutiny from most people. I don't need to feel anymore judgment than I already do. On the other hand, I feel that I must share this story to help someone else who might find themselves in a similar position. Granted, this story is far from being over, but who knows how it might effect someone's own life later on?
So, here goes nothing.... Here is what happened

This whole event took place right after I had just participated in an interview with Channel 13 news for the walk for disarmament. I had been actively participating in the walk's planning, meeting Sunday evenings with the rest of the core organizers, figuring out how to coordinate food, shelter, etc. I initially felt that I would not be able to directly participate because of my children. I didn't think they would be able to walk the mileage. After the first planning meeting, I realized that there would be a LOT of breaks and plenty of opportunity to leave the walk if the kids needed to. The kids and I were really excited and looking forward to participating.  

I am always eager to have the children participate in activism whether it be cooking for Food Not Bombs , participating in demonstrations, or helping with neighborhood cleanups, etc. Not only does activism feed my soul but it teaches both kids important life lessons. Life lessons like "not everyone knows where their next meal is coming from" or "not everyone will agree with you standing up for your beliefs". Most importantly, though, it teaches them that they have to do the work to make the changes they want to see in this world. I believe it is the best way to convey Margaret Mead's tried but true quote: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." 

My arrest, as the officer continually called it, devastated my outlook on participating.  I was so shocked that this man deemed me neglectful for something as simple as leaving my kids in the car (which was in my line of vision the entire time). If this was seen as neglectful, how would officers view my children walking in the heat of summer along highways & holding vigils outside military bases? The arrest also did a number on my self esteem as a mom. Was I neglectful? Was it wrong to leave my almost 10 & 6 year olds in the car while I dropped videos in the slot of the door? The week of the 15th was busy for us personally so I didn't have a whole lot of time to dwell on it until the drive home from PA on the 21st. I became paralyzed with fear. What if I am found guilty? I will never be able to teach. What if I decide to walk and get arrested again? I decided it was best to opt out of direct participation. Sure, we'd provide food via Food Not Bombs. But walk? Not this time. 

I can't describe how depressed this made me and how overwhelmed with negativity I became. How can I call myself an activist if I am not willing to put myself out there? On the other hand, how do I put myself out there and remain available for my children? They depend on me for guidance, love & nurturing. How fair would it be to them to have mom locked up for standing up in her beliefs? These questions are still bouncing around in my head. I imagine they will be for a long time. 

I remained reclusive throughout the week of the walk until Thursday. The kids and I made two dishes for the walkers' dinner. That night, I met Sister Ardeth. Talk about an inspiration! This woman served 33 months for her nonviolent civil disobedience. Everyone who spoke to me that night reassured me that there was nothing to fear & that I would be kept "safe" from any police officers trying to harass us. The kids and I listened to everyone's reflections of the walk thus far that week. All three of us were inspired. The fear left me as quickly as it had blanketed me. The kids and I would join them in any way that they were comfortable with. We joined everyone the next morning outside of the main Little Creek Amphibious Base gate on the corner of Little Creek Rd & Shore Dr. The kids and I participated in the first vigil of the day. I do believe it was 90 degrees by 9am that day. We had been all gung-ho about walking when we arrived at 8 am . That desire rapidly declined for the children as the hour progressed. Evan looked at me by the end of the vigil & said: "It would be nice to walk but I am just too hot". Although I was disappointed, I knew that I had to defer to the kids' comfort zone. They weren't comfortable so we weren't walking. There will be more demonstrations and marches in the future that we will have the stamina for. All things in due time. 

As far as my court case goes, the arraignment is Wednesday. I looked at the statute he charged me under. I don't believe he has met the burden of the law in order for me to be properly tried and found guilty. If the case isn't dismissed Wednesday by the prosecutor, I will ask that council be appointed & see if I qualify. If not, I will do whatever I need to do in order to obtain a lawyer. I want this case dismissed & my records expunged.  I would also like to continue our activism without feeling this type of threat hanging over our heads. 



Saturday, June 27, 2009

Saw this on another blog...

I am catching up on my reading. Can you tell? 
I like this. I hope you do too.

The following email is making the rounds. Figured I’d share.

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, why do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don’t propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don’t have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of representatives does.

You and I don’t write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don’t set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don’t control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don’t care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator’s responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted — by present facts — of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can’t think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it’s because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it’s because they want it in the red .

If the Army & Marines are in Iraq , it’s because they want them in Iraq .

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it’s because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like “the economy,” “inflation,” or “politics” that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Saw this on a blog...

I decided to post something mindless that I saw on another blog.... 

A - Age: 30

B - Bed size: Queen

C - Chore you hate: dishes and laundry 

D - Dog’s name: I am all about cats. No dogs for me! 

E - Essential start your day item: COFFEE!!!!

F - Favorite color: In order: Blue, Green, & Purple

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5’6”

I - Instruments you play: Djembe

J - Job title: Residential Operation Officer 

K - Kid(s): Evan - 9 years old; Kaya 5 years old

L - Living arrangements: A wonderful two story unit of a duplex in Ghent 

M - Mom’s name: Debra

N - Nicknames: Sara Beara, Puss, EBW - can't think of anymore at the moment....

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Hysterectomy in 3/2007 and wicked kidney infection in 10/07

P - Pet Peeve: People on power trips & hypocrisy 

Q - Quote from a movie: "Always with the f***ing chicken!!!"

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: 2 sisters: Lisa, who I grew up with. Her birthday is 8/26/70. Grace, sister on my Dad's side, who I have really enjoyed getting closer to in the last two years. Her birthday is 8/27/87. I still think it is crazy how close their birthdays are!

T - Time you wake up: If I am on top of my game, 6:30am so I have about 1 hr to 1.5 hr to myself before the kids wake up. Unfortunately, I am not always so great at that & I wake up when the kids get up ~ 8am. 

U- Underwear: clean :)

V - Vegetable you dislike: can't really think of one... I really disliked broccoli, peas & brussels sprouts when I was a kid.

W - Ways you run late: I have this memory of my mother yelling at me as a kid: "Sara! QUIT DAWDLING!!!!" I never grew out of that & both of my kids suffer from the same disorder =) So there are three of us that are daydreaming instead of having any sense of urgency to get out the door. Hence,my motto: "I consider on time to be when I get there" 

X - X-rays you’ve had: Chest, abdomen, teeth. That's all I can remember right now....

Y - Yummy food you make: everything I make is delicious but I'd say my chocolate chip cookies are the best :)

Z - Favorite zoo animal: NONE. I hate seeing animals in cages.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Here it comes....

This is the part where I lament that I have a MILLION thoughts running through my head but no time to write. 

I want to write about the upcoming march (On the Road to No War) that the kids and I are participating in, helping out with Food Not Bombs, update on how the garden is coming along, the kids current interests, this recurring theme in my life regarding the dualities of life (light vs. darkness). Alas, writing is not something that comes easily to me. I usually have to dedicate a few hours to a post and I just haven't had the time or dedication. 

Maybe I'll start keeping a journal again. That way I can write when the spirit moves me, then post it if here if I feel so compelled. 

Hope everyone has been enjoying their springs/summers so far! 

Saturday, May 23, 2009

New Wave

I am experiencing a new wave of creativity these days. I am welcoming it with open arms. It has been TOO long since I felt creative enough to actually work on a project. 
Here's a picture of what I did last night: 


It isn't the best quality photo. I don't know if you can see what it is exactly so I will explain it. I started out wanting to "write" a poem for Uncle James just using words and/or phrases cut out from various magazines. I ended up with the following poem by the time I was done clipping:

Namaste friend 
      Every breathe you take 
Come as you are 

Our hybrid life 
Desert's best... CASHED OUT... Chesapeake Bay
Integral grassroots fertile ground
Not all who wander are lost

Where to? 
      Adventure to greenstreets
              Phoenix Rising
         Leave no child inside 
            create.play.care.
              Works of art
      dream                  coexist
Welcome the heart of Nature 

Dare to dream with pure intentions
Seek the truth 
Survive THIS! 
It's not about escaping reality
It's about finding it....
READ
       express yourself...
A kind spoken-word 
       is not hard to believe....

The best gift I have to offer 
            OM
Last words 
           Love you.....


Each "paragraph" will be one picture for five in total. Last night I completed the first page. I went through old magazines and cut out pictures that I felt matched the emotion of the words. I am not sure how I am going to put together the final product... each an individual framed picture? a bound "book"? I'll be sure to post pictures of the final product...





Tuesday, May 19, 2009

One Year Ago Today

I quit my job as QA manager of a start up eye & tissue bank. I didn't give two weeks notice. I just left. Yeah, sounds REALLY "responsible" huh? I am not going to go into the nitty gritty details but there had been a domino effect of events leading up to a meeting on 5/14. At this meeting, we were informed by the CEO that the company needed to hire on another person to do family approaches yet the company didn't have the money (keep in mind that he had *just* hired another surgical lead, a position that was already fulfilled by the Tissue Recovery Manager. Did I mention this person was his friend??). He pretty much told the TRM & I that we would have to do even more and not be paid for it since the new surgical lead didn't want to be bothered with calling families. Furthermore, he informed us that we would be meeting again on 5/19 to present him with ideas on how to raise money for our company. His premise? Since we were a 503b non profit organization, we could convince people to make tax deductible donations to us. For serious. This is where the proverbial straw began to crack my back. Things continued to brew during the following four days between meetings. Although I had the gut feeling since my first interview that this organization would crash and burn (not to mention take down my career in eye & tissue banking), the realization FINALLY smacked me in the face following a few more events those four days. I couldn't take it. My husband convinced me to walk. I was scared. I wasn't sure that it was the best idea. Shaking, I walked into the meeting with my keys & a disc with all of my work on it. I told them all that I had come up with a way for them to save some money - I was out of there. The only questions that was asked: "You aren't going to give two weeks?" HELL no. I had already given WAY too much. I was done.


Thus began my journey as a stay at home Mom. I walked away from a career that I thoroughly enjoyed (even if it was stressful & consuming) to be home with my children. It has now been a full year. I look back & don't regret a thing. I only regret not coming to the decision sooner. I will say, though, that it has taken a full year for me to get comfortable in my new role. I have been racked with doubt regarding my capabilities to not only be available for my children, but to educate my children. The doubts have only recently been assuaged. When you first make the switch to homeschooling, you are told that a good "rule of thumb" is to deschool for every month in school. For example: my son had been in school for four years. He thus needed four months of "do nothing but what you want" time in order to decompress and be comfortable with the new routine. I have come to realize that I, too, have been deschooling. It has taken me the last twelve months to FINALLY shrug off all of the negative emotions I have carried in conjunction with learning and responsibilities. I had to shed all of my societal indoctrination to be able to be comfortable in this new role. I would say that deschooling did indeed last for four months for Evan. I would say that I am about 90% complete with my own deschooling. Kaya luckily did not have to deschool since she never really went to school in the first place :) Want to learn more about deschooling? Check out: www.sandradodd.com/deschooling

I want to write more about this new life I've entered but, lo and behold, we have a BUSY day getting ready to start. It is our last day of co-op www.hsobx.org for the semester. Time to get ready for a fun filled day!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Perhaps some insight...

... into my crazy mind :) If you actually watch what I post on FB, then these will all be repeats for you...... Otherwise, enjoy!




Thursday, April 23, 2009

So Much to do & Not enough time...

The kids and I have been BUSY!!! This is a good thing, obviously. I have so much I want to write about. I want to share all of our late adventures with you guys. Alas, I will not be able to do so today. I have TOO much to do to sit in front of the computer anymore today. You all will just have to hang in suspense - MUAH HA HA!!

I hope all of you are enjoying the spring weather. We sure are! Maybe I will get the chance to write tonight... until then, PEACE!!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Fear NOT

I came across the following essay by Derrick Jensen http://www.derrickjensen.org/fear01.html I want to share it with you all. It is long, but a thought provoking, worthwhile read. 

How Do We Free Ourselves From the Trap of Fear? By Derrick Jensen 

I'm holding a newspaper clipping from 1996. The creases are torn, the page yellowed. The headline reads  "Mother bear charges trains." Trains had killed her two sons, and so this mother grizzly charged train after train after train.

At first I carried this clipping in my wallet, and then I taped it over my desk. It helps me remember what it means to be courageous, what it means to be alive.

I used to think the world is being destroyed by the greed, hatred, and insanity of those in power. Of course I still think that, as must anyone paying attention, but I see more and more how our own fearfulness causes us to collude with this destruction.

No, I'm not spewing the same old line about how because I use toilet paper I'm just as culpable for deforestation as the CEO of Weyerhaeuser. I'm not saying we need to have compassion for those who are killing the planet, that we need to drive all hatred out of our own hearts before we can stop those who are destroying our homes. I'm not perpetuating the magical thinking that proposes that we are all equally responsible for the destruction of the planet, and that if I personally and a bunch of other "environmentalists" collectively are just  pure enough, kind enough, loving enough, that things really will turn out okay.

Not at all. Because they won't.

I don't think the mother grizzly worried about the purity of her own heart. She merely followed her heart to act against those who had killed those she loved.

My culpability for deforestation is much more extreme than my mere use of toilet paper. My culpability is that I do not physically stop the deforesters, that I do not defend my home and the homes of those (humans and nonhumans) I love with the ferocity and love manifested by this bear.

We suffer from a misguided belief that love implies pacifism. I'm not sure mother grizzly bears would agree, nor many other mothers I've known. I've been attacked by mother horses, cows, mice, chickens, geese, eagles, hawks, and hummingbirds who thought I was threatening their children. I have known many human mothers who would kill anyone who was going to harm their little ones. If a mother mouse is willing to put her life on the line by attacking someone eight thousand times her size, what does that say about our own hearts? (The mother mouse won, by the way.)

I say that I love the salmon who swim up the streams near my home, but the salmon are being driven extinct, and what do I do to help them? I write about them, sing love songs to them, stand and watch with tear-stained face as they spawn in silted streams. But what do I do?

The problem is not complex. If I really care about salmon, I need to remove dams, I need to stop industrial forestry and commercial fishing, and I need to stop global warming. These are actually straightforward technical tasks. But I don't do them.

Why not?

I can come up with all sorts of pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-spiritual, or pseudo-moral reasons, but when I'm honest with myself the real reason underlying all of the others is that I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I act effectively the police will kill me or put me in prison forever. I'm afraid that if I act effectively I will be an outcast from this society. I'm afraid that if I act effectively, some people won't like me. They will judge me.

Here are some questions I've been thinking about lately. If Nazis or other fascists took over North America (long pause, the raising of one eyebrow) what would we all do? Consider Mussolini's definition of fascism: "Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of State and corporate power." What if this occupied country called itself a democracy, but most everyone understood elections to be shams, with citizens allowed to choose between different wings of the same Fascist (or, following Mussolini, Corporate) party? What if protesting and other nonviolent dissent were opposed by storm troopers and secret police? Would we fight back? If a resistance movement already existed, would we join it?

And what would we do if those in power then instituted laws allowing them to put one-third of all Jewish males between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five into concentration camps? Substitute African-American for Jewish and ask yourself the same question.

Would we resist if the fascists irradiated the countryside, poisoned food supplies, deforested the continent, or made rivers too filthy for drinking or swimming? What if the fascists poisoned not only the land, but the bodies of those we love with dioxin (one of the most toxic substances known) and dozens of other carcinogens? I ask audiences at my talks how many have loved people who've been killed by cancer. About eighty percent raise their hands. Now, would we resist if those in power poisoned not just the bodies of those we love, but our own bodies?

If we won't fight back when our loved ones are dying and our own bodies are being poisoned, when will we take a stand? We each need to find our own threshold: the point at which we break free of our fear and act on behalf of those we love.

Why are we so terrified? What are we afraid of? Neither of these questions is rhetorical. They are, at this point, some of the most important questions we need to ask ourselves.
On the most basic level, fear is the belief that we have something to lose. And on one level, of course, we do have so very much to lose. We all know what those in power do to those who threaten them or their possessions. Jeffrey Leuers burned three SUVs in an act of symbolic resistance, and was sentenced to more than twenty-two years in prison, a far longer sentence than that typically given to rapists, to men who beat their wives to death, to chemical company CEOs whose decisions release into the world the toxins that give so many of us cancer. If we were to seriously threaten the perceived entitlement of those in power to convert the living world into consumer products to be sold, they would try to stop us by any means.

But there are more fears too. We know that we, those of us in the United States who are the primary physical beneficiaries of the exploitation, would lose access to some consumer products. What does it say about us that we are willing to accept the destruction of the planet in exchange for products like coffee, chocolate, cars, and electric blankets?

We all face choices. On the largest scale, we can have automobiles or we can have ice caps and polar bears. We can have dams and paper and wood products, or we can have salmon. We can have cardboard boxes or we can have living forests. We can have electricity and a world devastated by mining, or we can have neither: even solar electricity still requires an industrial infrastructure. We can have imported fruits, vegetables, meat, and coffee or we can have at least somewhat intact human and nonhuman communities in Latin America. 

Does this mean we should despair? Maybe. Despair is certainly an appropriate response to a desperate situation. But even more than this, we should simply recognize that these choices aren't really choices anyway: for more than ninety-nine percent of our existence, humans have lived quite happily without destroying their communities or the planet. These choices are the result of an aberrant and frankly bizarre way of living.

On a more personal level, we can flow along with the mainstream of a culture that does not serve us well, does not really make us happy, does not really make us comfortable, does not really make us safe; but only offers illusions of happiness, comfort, safety or we can begin the oftentimes prickly work of searching for our own hearts, for asking who and what we love, who and what we feel strongly enough about to change our lives for, to fight for, to live for. How about our own happiness? I've long had the habit of asking people if they like their jobs: about 90 percent say no. What does it mean when the vast majority of people spend the vast majority of their waking hours doing things they'd rather not do? How about your own health? How about the health of your children? How about their happiness (by which I don't mean the variety of toys at their disposal, but the actual quality of their lives)? How about the health and happiness of the land where you live? How about a planet not being killed? What is most important to you?

We can't have it all. The belief that we can is one of the things that has driven us to this awful place. If insanity could be defined as having lost functional connection with physical reality, to believe we can have it all, to believe we can simultaneously dismantle a world and live on it; to believe we can perpetually use more energy than the sun provides; to believe we can take more than the world gives willingly; to believe a finite world can support infinite growth, much less infinite economic growth that converts ever larger numbers of living beings to dead objects (industrial production, at core, is the conversion of the living trees or mountains into the dead two-by-fours and beer cans) is insane.

 Deep inside, we all know this. And yet we cannot speak it to ourselves, because we are afraid. We are afraid of losing what we have. And so we stand by.

 But we are afraid of something else. We are afraid of not belonging. Even when the whole social system is insane, we still fear to be excluded from it. Just yesterday I took my mom to Wal-Mart to exchange a new phone that didn't work. Now, before you shout hypocrite, recognize that in this small town Wal-Mart has already wreaked its damage, and Radio Shack was her only other choice. There was a line at the return counter, and it was a nice day, so I waited outside. On one bench sat a woman eating a sandwich, and on another sat a man smoking a cigarette. I often prefer the company of bushes to humans anyway so I sat on the curb near some imprisoned pyracanthias. Now here's the point: I could tell that those who walked by, especially Wal-Mart employees, were uncomfortable that I was sitting in an unauthorized spot. And I know the problem was where I was sitting: I didn't have unauthorized long hair, nor unauthorized body odor, nor unauthorized dirty clothes, nor was I frowning in some unauthorized manner. But I could feel that people wanted me to move, and consequently I could feel myself wanting to move, to get back in line. The feeling was almost overpowering.

 The same psychological pressures to conform would be at work were I instead poised at a mass media magazine rack, choosing between Soldier of FortunePenthouse, or Car and Driver. At the next level this pressure might cause me to stand with a chainsaw in my hand, pointing it at an ancient tree, or, in another circumstance, to aim a pistol at a Russian Jew kneeling beside a pit filled with writhing bodies. We should never underestimate the power of internalized social pressure to conform.

One of the smartest things the Nazis did was to coopt rationality, to coopt hope, to coopt short-term fear. At every step of the way it was in the Jews rational best interest to not resist: many Jews had the hope and this hope was cultivated by the Nazis that if they played along, followed the rules laid down by those in power, that their lives would get no worse, that they would not be murdered. They faced these questions: get an I.D. card, go to a ghetto, get into a cattle car or resist and possibly get killed. What happens when we ask ourselves the same questions? Would we rather get in the showers, or resist and risk getting killed?

The Jews who participated in the Warsaw Ghetto uprising including those who went on what they thought were suicide missions had a higher rate of survival than those who went along. Never forget that.

Here's something else important: A high-ranking security chief from South Africa's apartheid regime later told an interviewer what he had feared most about the rebel group African National Congress (ANC). He had not so much feared the ANC's acts of violence as he had feared that the ANC would convince the oppressed majority of Africans to disregard law and order, that is, to think and feel for themselves. Even the most powerful and highly trained security forces in the world would not, he'd said, have been able to stem that threat. When we come to see that the edicts of those in power carry no inherent moral or ethical weight, we become the free human beings we were born to be, capable of saying yes and capable of saying no.

 Remember that also.

 In the sixteenth century, ttiene de la Botie reminded us that when the powerful are insatiable, submission is fatal, that the more we submit ourselves to to the "law and order" of those in power, the more they will demand. He wrote that "the more tyrants pillage, the more they crave, the more they ruin and destroy; the more one yields to them, and obeys them, by that much do they become mightier and more formidable, the readier to annihilate and destroy. But if not one thing is yielded to them, if, without any violence they are simply not obeyed, they become naked and undone and as nothing, just as, when the root receives no nourishment, the branch withers and dies."

Sure, we are afraid. There is much to fear. But with a world being destroyed before our eyes, this belief that we have something to lose soon becomes an illusion. And the best guide I know to help lead me away from these illusions is my heart. Following my heart has never led me wrong.

 I think often of that grizzly bear, as I think, too, of the horses, cows, mice, chickens, geese, eagles, hawks, hummingbirds who have defended their loved ones. I think of the courage of bees who have flown at me, burrowed themselves into my hair to find a way to sting me, who have driven me away from their homes, at the inevitable cost of their lives. I think of the courage of salmon, who come back home year after year, who continue in the face of all that we are doing to them, or rather, all that we are allowing to be done to them.

 And I realize that before I can save them, I need to rely on them to save me, to teach me and help me remember what it is to love, what it is to step beyond my fears, what it is to act in defense of those I love.

 



Friday, March 27, 2009

I'm Cheating

I have a MILLION things I could be writing about.... like, the results of our week with no computer or play station, the projects that the kids and I are currently working on, the horrific PMS that I have... Instead, I am going to post the same thing that I just posted on facebook. This is for all of you that are not on facebook to see my ramblings :) Enjoy... 
Editor's Note: Please note that people DO change as they grow. My actions as a teenager aren't necessarily reflective of my adult activities =) 

My Musical Influences

Okay, so I was tagged to do this at least a month ago. I have spent the entire time thinking of my answers. You may not think that this would be very consequential, but music has deeply shaped my life. My responses are somewhat in chronological order of my musical awakening. Now, a little window into me....

Think of 15 albums, CDs, LPs (if you're over 40) that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life. Dig into your soul. Music that brought you to life when you heard it. Royally affected you, kicked you in the wazzoo, literally socked you in the gut, is what I mean. Then when you finish, tag 15 others (or more!), including me. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill.


1) Beastie Boys - License to Ill
Yeah, I'm sure this will get a chuckle or two... I was 8. We were living in New York. This was during my mother's snake handling days so music was the devil. I was, however, blessed with a sister who was 8 years older than me & very rebellious. I can remember the first time she put the tape in. We were dancing around the house, doing our chores, to this album. I don't have too many vivid memories of my childhood, but the ones that are vivid (& good) involve music. I mainly remember the elation I felt with every beat. 

2) U2- Joshua Tree 
Christmas of 1987. I had just turned 9. This was my Tiffany/Debbie Gibson stage. I suppose Lisa @ 16 knew that I needed some real musical influence. She gave me this tape for Christmas (or was it my birthday?). I listened to that tape until I wore it out and it came apart. I *still* love this album. It evolves with me. 

3) The Doors - Soft Parade/Morrison Hotel 
Okay - it is really just one song off of Soft Parade. Again, I was in the 7-9 age range. I was not allowed to have anything to do with MTV (see #1 above). I would sneak it in the afternoon when I was home alone (or with my sis). I remember seeing the video for Touch Me. This is now one of my least favorite songs by The Doors, but at the time I was mesmerized by Jim Morrison. A few years later, when I was 12-13, my friend, Diz, rekindled my fascination with Jim Morrison when she played Morrison Hotel for me. I have been in love ever since. The man was a genius.....

4) The Beatles - White Album 
Moving on in the time continuum, I was in the 7th grade (12-13) when I discovered this tape in my sister's collection. I ganked it from her & never gave it back. I listened to this tape every night before I went to bed. It fit my angst beautifully at the time. 

5) Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here 
This was my first CD. It came my way when I was 13.5. This coincided with me watching The Wall with Diz. Again, the CD & the movie fit my angst & obsession with hallucinogens....

6) Jane's Addiction - can't narrow it down to one: Triple X, Nothing Shocking, Ritual de lo Habitual were all continuously playing & influential. Perry Farrell has a beautiful mind. This band helped me realize that I didn't have to fit into any mold but my own. Read "To The Mosquitoes" if you haven't already : http://janesaddiction.org/discographies/disc_details.phtml?discID=34

7) Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes 
Another introduction by Diz. I seriously owe so much of my musical awakening to that woman! Anyway, my clearest memory is of us wandering the streets of Diamond Springs, screaming Violent Femmes lyrics at the top of our lungs, namely "Blister in the Sun"

8) Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes 
I was at a raging house party when I heard "Silent All These Years" for the first time. It was on MTV (still can't remember why the friggin' TV was on at a party) and I made the people in the room shut up so I could hear the lyrics. So much of this song was reflective of my childhood, it moved me to tears. She is still one of my favorite female artists to this day. 

9) Nirvana - Never Mind 
Okay... I was 13 when this album came out. It rocked me. It introduced me to the world of punk, grunge, & teen angst. Need I say more? 

10) Pearl Jam - Ten 
I just loved Eddie Vedder's lyrics. It wasn't really the music that moved me. It was his voice and words that spoke to me. His music speaks to me today as well as his lyrics & voice. The man finally has it right.....

11) Cypress Hill - Cypress Hill/Black Sunday 
I know what you're thinking - say what? :) I was 12 when I heard their self titled album. It was just a different style of rap & it stuck out to me. I LOVED their beats. I was 13 to 14 years old when Black Sunday came out. Diz's parents were in the Navy. They both had a six month cruise over summer vacation & they left her home alone. We woke up every afternoon & put this album on as we made our breakfast.... 

12) Tom Petty - Full Moon Fever 
I'm random, I know... Back to summer of '92...and back to Diz... There was one night in particular that this tape was played over and over. I still love this album. It is just a great sing along album, even if I can't sing....

13) L7 - Bricks are Heavy 
This is when I discovered that women can kick ass & take names too. This opened me up to all kind of feminazi rockers. i ♥ Donita Sparks. 

14) Grateful Dead - American Beauty 
I was all kinds of late in my discovery of Jerry Garcia. I had *just* started to listen to them when Jerry died. This album, again played on repeat with psychedelic influences, opened up the doors to blue grass, phish & festivals. I am forever grateful.... 

15) Bob Dylan & Joan Baez 
Okay, I'm kind of cheating on this one by combining two artists. I am also stepping out of my chronological order as well. Prior to age 4. my mother listened to these two artists the most. Folk music was a HUGE influence in my life prior to Mom finding Jesus. I didn't realize the influence until I was 14 to 15 years old and started listening to each artist again on my own. It was this weird experience where I would be able to sing along with the lyrics although it was my "first" time hearing the song. I remember the day I discovered Bob Dylan's song "Sara". I called my mom all excited to ask if that was where she got my name from. Not so much... Anyway, I digress. I love both of these artists. They introduced me to the world of grass roots movements.....


Okay, this does it. Obviously this list does not encompass every single artist I love. There are SO many more: Dead Kennedy's, Soul Coughing, Bjork, etc. These, however, document my awakening to the world around me. Hope you have enjoyed this little window into my world... 

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

About that Sabbatical....

Okay, so Teddy took the play station away from Evan for a week without really consulting me first. Not that he has to - he's his parent too. It was just that I was going to do it in a little more smoother manner and it wasn't going to be as a punishment. This has botched my plans a little. My ability to procrastinate has been taken away from me (ha ha!). Furthermore, Evan is going to be CLAMORING to get it back in a week rather than enjoying his time away from the video games. Well... maybe not. Maybe if I make it fun he won't notice it's gone. Wow - that sounds like wishful thinking!

Teddy surprised the kids this morning with one of those throw rugs that has the town and roads on it. They are busy playing with matchbox cars on it and creating some type of pretend story line to go with it. They are currently occupied but I plan on introducing a few other ideas to them. Here they are...

1) Make a loaf of banana bread.
     Both Evan and Kaya have been enjoying their newfound love for cooking. I have been loving every minute of this because it allows me to bring math into our day to day without forcing the subject on them. I have learned SO much about their math strengths and weaknesses by observing them through this process. Evan (9), who attended public school for three years, has a REALLY hard time wrapping his brain around fractions. Kaya (5), who has never had any formal education, grasps the fraction concept very easily. I am realizing that Evan missed some logic development during his mathematical education in the public school setting. I have also observed that he clamors to give me the right answer rather than use logic to problem solve. We have been working on basic logic skills so we can get him over his hang-up of giving the "right" answer. 

2) Make a bird feeder. 
Spring is here. The children and I are ecstatic. This winter was particularly harsh for us having spent the last two winters in Phoenix, AZ. To make it all the more difficult, we have been a one car family since July. It would be days on end that it would just be too cold & wet to walk anywhere these last few months. We have truly had cabin fever. In the last three weeks, we have moved into our new place and have enjoyed some great and not so great weather that comes this time of year, especially here in Hampton Roads.  We have a really neat Holly Tree that is outside the Northwest side of our duplex. You get a great view of the treetop from the kids room and the bottom from the living room. There is a Mockingbird (or a cat bird - does anyone know if they are two different names for the same bird?) that lives in the tree. She is VERY territorial over the tree and its berries. Every so often though, the other birds invade. The other day we spotted five female blue jays! Anyway, I digress... I think it would be a great idea for the kids and I to construct a bird feeder  to place somewhere  away from the tree for the other birds. I'd like it to be at good place to view from the interior of our home so that way the cats can get some entertainment as well. The birds are a sure sign that spring is here and I want to embrace this :) 

3) Explore two new books. 

 Meet James a.k.a. Uncle Jimmy: 



This is Teddy's Uncle. He lives in Tucson, AZ. We became very close while we lived in Phoenix. James has never had any children. When Teddy and I first married, he told me about his Uncle who "hates kids". This made me anxious when we first had him for a visit in Phoenix. I am not one to put up with my children being treated in a ill manner, especially in THEIR home. Well, long story short,  he LOVED (and continues to love) our children. This was a metamorphosis that shocked Teddy and pleased me very much. We have all missed James very much since leaving Arizona. James has missed us as well. He has sent the kids two books in the last three months that are just out of this world. 

The first one he sent was "Make it Work! : Native Americans. The hands - on approach to history" 



The second book he sent was this one: 



The first book has multiple hands on activities on every page. I think that if we dive deep enough into this book, we could stay busy with it alone for two months. I am not expecting it to hold my children's attention exclusively though. The second book features a different jazz artist for each letter of the alphabet. I for one know NOTHING about these wonderful artists. I was thinking we could read the book, head to the library and see which CD's we can find by each artist. Again, depending on how enthralled the kids are, we could really dive deep in this book as well. 

Well, I could keep going, listing all of my ideas, but the children are done being occupied. Time to log off for the week! I'll let you guys know what the results are when we are done :) 
Wish me luck!!